Life Without My Husband: The Weekend

Posted by Ann Evans in domestic life, husbands, life after 60, loving relationships, Older women, the good marriage, women | 2 comments

While my husband Terry was in Australia, I was at Kripalu for the weekend.  There were yoga classes, meditations, a wild noon dance, an evening concert, and fresh food of a larger variety than we usually eat. The view of a constantly mutating lake and folds of distant mountains was magnificent.

What I loved most was the silence. 10:00pm to 5:00 am silent. Even the elevators. Breakfasts were silent, and for lunch and dinner there was a silent dining room, where I ate. Walking the halls, conversation was sparse; even smiles were optional – good will was stipulated.

Thought waves stopped crashing. Without radio and television and conversation, I could, without trying, get underneath my projects and plans, just gently sinking beneath the bustle.

There was a down side though. When words came out, they came out in torrents.  “Could I ask you please to press 3 please?” on the elevator.  Or “I’d like to invite your back to stretch up up up.” A torrent of excess verbiage! This padding of politeness served not to soften interactions, but to distance one person from another. It was as if the speaker was afraid to offend, afraid of the reaction. Some people were like samurais who disarm before entering the room.

My purpose was not to distance myself but to lessen my contact with others. I was able to remove some of the duties of daily life (and conversation is first among these) from my day.

Silence is powerful, and the excess of politeness makes this power mushy.  Instead of managing the power, it was hidden behind folds of politeness.

Too much politeness is a small price to pay for such bliss.

Comments (2)
  1. Arwa says:

    Enjoy reading this blog. Do you recommend going to this place?

    • Ann Evans says:

      Hello Arwa! Kripalu is a big place; hundreds of people go there every week. It is therefore able to offer many different workshops, classes, concerts, and activities. If you don’t want to take a class or an activity, there are hiking trails, a labyrinth, and in the summer, swimming and kayaking. There is also a health center where they offer massages, ayurvedic counseling, and many different services. The food is mostly vegetarian, fresh, and creatively cooked. There was a great variety of choices at every meal. I would recommend it for learning and for serenity. You can take what you want from their offerings. It refreshed me and allowed me to completely relax. The hardest thing to do was leaving.

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Life went on

Life went on again after Daring to Date Again: A Memoir ended, so I began this wide-ranging blog about life as a writer and as a woman in the early 21st century, especially as an older woman.

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